Rufus Shinra Style!
by MarleneShadowheart
Summary: *Parody of Gangdam Style by PSY* Rufus Shinra wants Cloud and the others to hear his new appointment speech...Rufus Shinra Style! Ah, what the effects of Mako poisoning can do...


**A/N: This story works best if you listen to the song first-though it'd be strange if you haven't heard it yet-and THEN read the story. It's funnier that way, I guarantee!**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, or Gangnam Style by PSY—though with over 15,000,000 views, I kinda wish I did…;)**

* * *

Shinra's new President tossed back his hair and introduced himself to the crew. "Well, I'm Rufus. The President of Shinra, Inc."

Barret scowled. "You only President 'cause your old man died!" he cried, shaking his gun-arm.

Rufus, without showing the slightest bit of sadness in his voice, turned his back to his enemies and said, "That's right. I'll let you hear my new appointment speech—Rufus Shinra style!"

The group had already been in mid-groan when the carrot-topped President swerved his hip to the side, cuing a glittering spotlight and a whole bunch of choreographed Korean women in Shinra-blue swimwear.

* * *

"_Rufus Shinra Style!__  
Shinra Style!"_

"_My name is Rufus Shinra and I'm Prez of this new firm  
Besides that I'm a ginger people think I'm a germ  
But I am the boss and I don't care what y'all have learned  
I'm leader only cuz my dad got BURNED!"_

"_I'm your superior!  
Sephiroth don't scare me; I'm superior  
AVALANCHE come at me; you're inferior  
With my band of SOLDIERS I'll be one to wipe the floor  
I'm superior!"_

"_I'm the director; hear my lecture  
Bow down to me!"_

* * *

Somewhere far away, Sephiroth had the strangest impulse to enthusiastically shout, "Hey!"

* * *

"_Get on your knees!"_

* * *

All the way back in Wutai, Yuffie followed this exact same urge by dropping all her Materia and jumping into the air shouting, "Hey!"

* * *

"_I'm the director; hear my lecture  
Bow down to me!"_

* * *

Jenova suddenly opened her eyes inside her glass tank and growled, "Hey!"

* * *

"_Get on your knees!"_

* * *

Vincent sprang up from within his coffin and chirped, "Hey!"

* * *

"_I'm not intent in hearing our Planet's pleas!"_

* * *

Rufus stopped the music, reached into his jacket and pulled out a pair of shutter shades, placing them over his eyes. He then proceeded to start a crazy dance that would later become a pop culture sensation. Cloud and the others continued to gape at this poor most-likely-Mako-poisoned man.

* * *

"_Rufus Shinra Style!  
Shinra Style!"_

"_Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!  
Shinra Style!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!"_

"_Eh! Lots of money!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!  
Eh! Lots of money!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru!"_

"_I've got lots of coinage and I won't let it run dry  
When some emo kid says that the Planet's gonna die  
My comeback in Advent Children shows I'm a nice guy  
But big-heartedness ain't gonna fly!"_

"_You're just envious!  
You don't have my kind of power; you're just envious  
You crept up here to defeat me; that's just devious  
Down below the plate you wish that you could be like us  
You're just envious!"_

"_I'm the director; hear my lecture  
Bow down to me!"_

* * *

Don Corneo and the rest of his henchmen paused in mid-molestation and cheered, "Hey!"

* * *

"_Get on your knees!"_

* * *

Ruby and Emerald Weapon both leaped into the air at once and roared, "Hey!"

* * *

"_I'm the director; hear my lecture  
Bow down to me!_

* * *

Dyne stopped shooting innocent townsfolk and grinned, shouting, "Hey!"

* * *

"_Get on your knees!"_

* * *

"Hey!" shouted Hojo, busy mixing Chocobo DNA with that of a SOLDIER.

* * *

"_I'm no intent on hearing out Planet's pleas!  
Rufas Shinra Style!  
Shinra Style!"_

"_Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!  
Shinra Style!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!"_

"_Eh! Lots of money!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru-Rufas Shinra Style!  
Eh! Lots of money!  
Ru-Ru-Ru-Ru..."_

* * *

"What the...?!" cried Tseng, waltzing in at a very awkward moment. Awkward, as in finding your boss with bright pink shutter shades over his eyes, his hair a total mess, and his jacket only half on and his shirt not tucked-in while singing into a plastic microphone. The strobe lights and the Korean dancers added a nice touch. "M-Mr. President?!"

Rufus paused and cleared his throat. "Uh...wow, this is awkward..." he said, trying his best to compose himself. He sighed, "I just...I'll...I'll go," he mumbled, hanging his head and shuffling out of the room.

It was then that Tseng found the others lying on the floor, half-dead. "Gawd help us..." Cloud whispered, extending his hand out towards the light.

* * *

**...I swear, I have noooooooo idea where any of that came from...**

**Please R/R! **


End file.
